OK, equality takes many forms...today, I am dealing with equality in a long-term relationship. It seems that honesty no longer can move a relationship into a productive path...well, one sided honesty. A relationship cannot be equal if one person is lying to another. There are things in life that can cause fear and in turn cause lying to cover the fear. I am defiantly not saying that I have an advantage because I have been the moral authority - by far! I lied about drug use for years - to everyone, including my partner of almost 9 years (our anniversary is December 1 - just around the corner). When I got off of drugs and started living an honest life, I asked the same of my partner. We had decided that it would be a fresh new start for both of us to rebuild a life that went off track...now, I am dealing with the idea that life didn't actually go off track, we did. I always think that it is important to be responsible for one's self...no one makes you feel or do or think or say anything...you do! Those are your choices. Of course, at the time, one may think that the situation is out of control because of the actions of another, but it never is. So anyone reading this blog please comment and let me know what you would do in a situation similar to this:  OK you know your partner is lying, he lied  directly to you - he is a recovering alcoholic, but goes out and drinks for two days - some stranger calls your phone VERY early in the morning to start asking all types of questions about your partner...YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS PERSON AT ALL - you send your partner texts, and again, this strange man answers your texts to your partner - he says he is passed out on his couch... you do love your partner,  very much - but where do you draw the line? That's the question posed and if anyone at all is reading this, I would very much appreciate answers to that question. Of course this is a real situation that I am faced with right now...and lucky for old Mr. Unknown wanna answer my texts that I didn't have a car, it would have been another example of when keeping it real goes wrong and I already know the inside of a correctional institute...I don't think I want to know another one...lol....

So again, here is the question: HOW FAR DO YOU ALLOW THIS TO GO AND WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE???

I am seriously looking for advise and anecdotes that others have been through...let me know your traumatic love stories and where they lead....

Thanks

a history on Senate bill 272

Welcome to North Carolina, currently the only Southern state that does NOT have a constitutional ban on Gay marriage. All that may change coming up with the May 8th 2012 ballot initiative.

     The North Carolina Constitution currently does not recognize a difference between any one person. Article one states ...

"Section 1.  The equality and rights of persons.

We hold it to be[u] self-evident that [b]all persons are created equal[/b][/u]l; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, the enjoyment of the fruits of their own labor, and the pursuit of happiness."

     There are other issues as well that will go along with the push for constitutional discrimination.  According to Professor Lavelle, the wording of the current senate bill 272 will abolish the domestic partner registry and eliminate same sex partner benefits that are currently available in seven municipalities in North Carolina, these include: the counties of Durham and Orange, the cities of Durham, Greensboro, Chapel Hill and Carrboro. If senate bill 272 passes, it will become illegal for these municipalities and counties to continue to offer these benefits.  But that's not all.  This will also have a serious impact on non-married heterosexual couples as well, and forbid them from entering into any public contracts that deal with partnership. Currently, the laws of North Carolina, when dealing with domestic violence, are set to protect both heterosexual and homosexual couples regardless of marriage, if this law takes effect, the effectiveness of these laws will be in question. The law itself had issues at the house level, where it did not allow for private companies to offer domestic partner benefits to their workers, and actually would have made it illegal for them to do so. In the senate bill, those words were changed so that it would not have an effect of private companies; however there are questions concerning the placement of the entire article on the ballot, or not placing the part that says it is not valid for private contracts.

     Besides the obvious issues raised by constitutionally adding discrimination, there are questions to be raised about property, parental rights and economical problems. If the law passes, since currently, North Carolina does not allow second parent adoptions (meaning that same sex couples cannot adopt a child of their partners) and contracts that are derived from the state for legal guardianship will then be null and void. If people make wills, again, a state supported contract, those wills will be null and void and property and faineances will be turned back to the state law which will then send them to the next of kin, not your partner of how ever many years. This constitutional change will have devastating effects on family law according to Ms. Sharron Thompson.

     In a televised debate between Wake County Rep. Paul Stam and Cumberland County Rep. Rick Glazier, Mr. Stam made comparisons between consensual adult gay marriage and the marriage of two three year olds or three-some marriages. Mr. Glazier said that, other than health related reasons the state should not be involved in consensual marriage between two consenting adults.

     North Carolina already has laws in effect making it illegal for two people of the same sex to marry, however, again, North Carolina is the only southern state that have avoided placing this ban in constitutional form. Honestly, there are many who feel that the constitution of North Carolina already grants the rights for Same-Sex couple marriage, the questions now are how far up the court ladders will this go.

     According to Senator Martin Nesbitt, Minority Leader, and this tactic is just being used to tread on minorities and "toss them in the bottom of the barrel" so to distract people from the real and current issues facing the state of North Carolina. He said this bill is bad for business, and many businesses have contacted him to state their disapprovement of Senate bill 272. Rep. Jean Farma-Butterfield said that it's just discrimination being placed into the constitution and that laws should never be used to repress people. Senator Doug Berger, on the open senate floor, when senate bill 272 came up for a vote compared the bill the Jewish Holocaust, linking the separating and discrimination against one group of people is no different than another, and, again Re. Marcus Brandon said the bill is just bad for business, and many businesses that are currently open to the idea of same sex benefits may move their business to other locations taking even more employment, that is so desperately needed, out of North Carolina.

    The bill passed both the house and senate (September 12, 2011) and is now headed for the primary ballot on May 8, 2012. If you currently are not registered, it is urged that you do register so that you can participate in the May 8th primary and vote to add this issue to the ballot or not.  Either way that you feel, you must look past the emotions, past the religious dogma and see that the state currently has a law on the books protecting marriage...do we need to constitutionalize discrimination now?

                                    MISCARRIAGE

What began in innocence – now decays to death and traps us inside—

A nightmare delivered to our marriage bed, bound up with such beauty and such longing for each other and the joy we could bring – moving as one in this funeral pall and the hidden death mask laid out, touches our bodies—

            We were in some six months

The wiggly worm Squirms from touch – now lays silent and still – like dead weight holding up your alter

            We sit knowing, but not wanting to say

            Somewhere inside, I think we always knew

            And we sit knowing the fruit is rotten and floating in its tidal piñata

So we try to push – filled with tears and memories not yet had

We shut out the monotone death march pretend it’s rock-a-bye baby

            try to ignore the flashing lights

                        We’ve tried to speak, but the words and sounds traveled through your feeding tube

            And the gray-black-purplish life-support system has failed, the components ordered but delivered too late

            They said we were due a refund (I hope only for a retry)

It took us so long to get to the giggles, the secret smiles – and the sharing of a life

            And baby, baby, your pail skin matches the phosphorous center the for so long encased you and our heart bearing love that laid out until it because spoiled – lost in confusion

                        -So we’ve gone to the hatch, opened the portal to let the great and gilded sperm whale escape and float in the start that forever mourn

We’ll love your life, even with none left –my dear son, 

     Last night, while watching some B horror film (which unfortunately, I love) I started to think about a few weird things in Hollywood. I first want to start by stating my excitement about the advancement of LGBTQQIA interest in movies and on television. Shows like Glee and even earlier, shows like Will and Grace.. Movies like A single man and Brokeback Mountain...these have really moved us forward in popular culture. I do, however, have a couple personal gripes about Hollywood and the mastery of entertainment.  Why are there very few gay actors/actresses to play gay rolls? Do they not exist? Is there a double standard in Hollywood - be pro-gay for the cameras and the awards and then shun LGBTQQIA actors into silence? Also, being such a fan of horror, I noticed that very very few (if any) change the normal format of the slasher film. It's always a group of teenagers, right and they usually end up pairing up boy/girl, there is usually sex involved before the slashing. How many of those movies have 2 guys hooking up before getting slaughtered or two girls? or add a transsexual or something to represent that we still exist here in the real world. I think it would be great to take the B horror movie to a new level...six teens, a boy/girl couple a boy/boy couple and a girl/girl  couple are out at some abandoned house being friends, because being together as friends would be just another great tool to normalize homosexuality and sexual minorities, as some psycho killer stalks them down and kills them...and maybe this time, its not a girl that lives but a gay. Something different....make it 8 teens, have one transgendered in a relationship...I don't really care what. I just think it's about time Hollywood took the proverbial dive off the cliff into accepting gay characters in normal movies...we all don't have to be gay florists or lesbian gym teachers for god sake, we could just be normal characters that do normal things and are normal parts of an integrated story....so Hollywood - answer the call...or get some new damn writers that are not afraid to write for gay characters and get some booking agents that aren't afraid to actually book homosexuals or transgender for rolls that are homosexual or transgendered...that's how I see it - It's now time for equality in entertainment. Thanks Adam Lambert, thanks Zack Quintos thanks to every one of the brave and HONEST individuals that have put their privacy on the back burner so that kids out here going through these hard times know that IT DOES GET BETTER> God bless you all.

Wha's wrong with Michelle Bachmann and her "husband"

   Thank God, if you go to the Bachmann and Associates center, with just a little reading and denying and repression, they can pray the Gay right out us! And, if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you...or a great new Porche for 99 dollars, or any other made up, misconstrued and really unhealthy dreams that I could mention.  There are some facts that the Bachmann's probably don't want to consider....repression cause self hate, repression in teenagers can cause overtly suicidal tendencies, and as educated minds, we should already all know that Gay teens have one of the highest rates of suicides and suicide attempts. It astounds me that this lady is actually aloud to run for president. Aren't there any intelligence assessments that must be done before you can claim to be a candidate for office? Obviously not.
     And, although this takes the top of ignorance for me, look at the other Republicans running for office: Perry, he can't remember what he wants to cut from government, Cain...OK maybe I can believe that one sexual harassment case may have been made up, but four...and settling two leaves it a little hard to believe that at least one did not happen. Yeah for the Republicans...way to go...
     But let's get back to the idea that the Bachmann's just want to pray that gay away! Who are they kidding? Many psychologists believe that this repressive therapy (which consists basically of reading the bible, being preached to be ex-gays and when all else fails, live a celebrate life) is not only harmful, but a sham. Taking money from parents and gays that are so uncomfortable with their lives that they think there is no other option. Can't you just imagine some crisis in government and there are the Bachmann's sitting in a prayer circle trying to get the gay demons to leave our country.  Why not try to get the ignorant discriminators to leave our country...maybe the Bachmann's could have dinner with the Iranian dictator, Ahmadinejad - they both seem to be on the same wave length in ridiculous fear mongering and prejudice. What does that say about America when not the economy, not the jobless rates, not the ever growing disparage between wealthy and poor are more important than praying the gay away.
     To pray the gay away assumes one large factor - that being gay is a choice. You just wake up one day and say, "God, I can't live without the teasing, bullying, vicious killings and attacks, hatred, fear and being a second class citizen in the land of the free...I think I'll just be gay for the fun of it..."give me a break. Speaking for myself, I was born this way some 36 years ago - and am thankful each and every day that I have an educated family that supports, loves and accepts me just the way I am. How do you think the Bachmann's kids would be treated if one of them said they were gay? I would feel such pity for that. Again, just a personal belief, but I would think that repression therapy causes a lot of "on the Down Low" and a lot of amoral sexual behavior. I don't believe that anyone can repress themselves to the point of total denial, but hey, maybe they can. I would also like to think, again a personal thought, that a lot of the directors or workers at the sham clinics that "pray the gay away" are, themselves closet cases so unhappy and unadjusted that they have no other option than to try to make others feel that way.
     Of course, just reading my blogs, you should be able to guess that I am a full-fledged liberal (I call it well adjusted educated American, but feel free to call me a liberal.) I support an equal rights amendment that protects us all not just some. I applaud the Girl Scouts in Colorado who, after some legal wranglings aloud Bobby Montoya, the seven year old who considers himself a girl, the right to join the Girl Scouts - and I especially applaud Bobby's mother and family for recognizing that transgendered people know from an early age that they feel trapped in the wrong body. WAY TO GO!  We are coming so far in this country - people are actually realizing that, yes, WE ARE BORN THIS WAY - lets just figure out some way to safe guard the country from ignorant "candidates for office" that want to pray our existence away. STAND UP LGBTQQIA and lets say we've had enough...keep being vocal, keep being honest - and for those that have found themselves in repressive therapy, remember from all of us who have made it out and become well adjusted humans...it can and will get better.

What's with the constitutional push to legalize inequality?

      Something mind-blowing is happening in North Carolina that is starting to stink of a previous age of welcome discrimination. The ballet initiative to place a constitutional amendment into the North Carolina constitution to ban same sex marriage.  What is going on? And, honestly, what year are we living in? It seems the hot-button topic this year (as well as the past few years) focuses on one basic issue - are Homosexuals considered equal in the eyes of the law? Reading our founding fathers' documents it clearly states that "...All men are created equal..." nowhere does it say as long as you fall into a traditional family mold. It seems all too comfortable for the "moral majority" (although in my opinion, there is no morality in discrimination) to push for legalized discrimination.  Imagine where we would be today, as a country, if that had been aloud to happen in the 1950's and 1960's as African Americans were pushing for their rights to be treated equal - not different, not special, JUST EQUAL. Gays today want no more than that, and, if we haven't learned by now that SEPARATE is NEVER EQUAL,  I suppose, we never will. The idea that civil unions are paramount to equality is a farce. If we need to get a civil unions license, then so does everyone else.
     Looking at the vast majority of protesters against equality, I find myself shell-shocked. A large number are older (obviously religious) African Americans, and I think, didn't you have the same fight for equality 60 years ago? Did Rev. Martin Luther King's speech "I have a dream" specifically ban that dream from everyone different than he?  Why is discrimination of one group of legal American citizens any better than another? I certainly wouldn't ask the political body to ban mix raced marriages, nor age limit marriages (excluding non consenting ages, of course). Would it be fine to say that a 60 year old man cannot marry a 24 year old woman or that an African American woman could not marry a Chinese man? Of course not, that would be ridiculous - so why is it alright for a group of religious pundits to be able to decide if my 10 year relationship is valid and deserves the same legal protection and validity that theirs does?  If we are getting hung up on marriage as being a religious aspect and not a legal right, we can solve that quickly. Our constitution of this great nation demands separation of church and state, so this should be a no brainer...make the legal documents civil unions for all and allow the churches to preform marriage ceremonies, that way churches that do recognize a valid and lasting love and want to perform ceremonies for gay couples can continue and churches that find it revolting, can continue to hate (which, if I am not mistaken really goes against the greatness of religion itself.)
     So this up coming May, make noise...all the GLBTQQIA need to stand together (especially the A - allies). We need to make our voice clear that in the 21st century, there is no place for legal discrimination, and those that do oppose gay marriage, don't have one. We are not the issue for the sanctity of marriage when over 50% end in divorce. How can you have sanctity on your third or fourth marriage when we just really want one. So, again, stand up! Be heard! let the politicians that are so afraid to take this issue on for fear of backlash know that DISCRIMINATION IS DISCRIMINATION! and one day, when an America in the future looks back and sees that in the 21st century they legalized discrimination in any form, they will see the shame and guilt that comes along with that.
     Finally, to the opponents to gay marriage, I would like to just say get over it. I know that sounds harsh, maybe misplaced, but brave Americans have fought and died for the rights guaranteed in our constitution. They did not give their lives to let our civil liberties, our freedoms and the equality that makes us America slip away for fear.  SPEAK OUT

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO  http://youtu.be/ud6lRH9IKQE